Child abuse? PRAY. Rape? PRAY. 

I find it funny that my christian mother and religious-ex-boyfriend seem to think that God has this great plan for me in store. And I say “what is that plan? To be abused as an innocent child while protecting my even more innocent brother. I was not even old enough to sin yet and I was being punished by the drunk while simultaneously trying to protect my brother from being “punished” by the drunk. Oh and what else? After finally healing from not just losing the ONE father I had, but also trying to hold my family together after his death I get raped by my best friend!? What plan was that!? To teach me to never stray from God or you’ll get your insides ripped out by some douchebag!? Oh and then to top it off his great master plan had me raped AGAIN a few years later. What was that for???? Praying for YEARS to (not fix) but just HELP me through everything that had happened!? Then when he doesn’t help in the slightest I finally lose my faith completely and I get punished again! I get told its my fault! I get told I was the one that did something risky. But it still wasn’t ALL my fault.. But partially! As I was forced to KNEEL DOWN to a FICTIONAL CHARACTER and ask this “God” to help me through child abuse and two rapes I am STILL expected to believe this was all part of “GODS PLAN.” This was “HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO!?” If you don’t understand what I went through, how badly I prayed as my father beat me and BROKE MY JAW at age SEVEN and I STILL PRAYED and nothing happened and you DARE tell me you’ll PRAY FOR ME or IT WAS PART OF GODS PLAN I can promise you at that moment that I will NEVER have respect for you AGAIN. You are IMMEDIATELY cut out of my life.

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