Trust

Alright so, this guy and I. We went out on an amazing date where he paid for me, he wanted to know all about me, he respected me, he didn’t even try to kiss me on the first date (which I actually found to be shocking), and then that night I actually went home and cried for hours on end because I never knew someone could actually treat me, well… the way I was supposed to be treated.

We started going out shortly after that day and have been very happy… except for one thing. My trust issues. I’m now just realizing how big of an issue they really are. I know on my other blog I had to actually write out the entire situation and then go back a few days later and read what in the world I was blowing up again and make myself realize how incredibly stupid that was. But now this entire fiasco is happening again.

I can’t trust. I just can’t. I’m having nightmares again, I’m waking up screaming, I’m shaking around him, and he did absolutely nothing to deserve this. I feel so bad he has to deal with my issues now all of a sudden because of me. I have no idea how to help myself or him or anything. I though I healed from this. But apparently not.

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